and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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