check it out our google latitudes are spooning
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
