I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
