Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
now i know why i became what i already was.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Randomize
