I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
