I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
