I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I stole a fireplace last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
