He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
