I just cut my nipple shaving
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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