around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
