I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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