The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
