: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
