There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
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If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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