I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
