I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
