what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She needs sedatives and a leash
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize