Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize
