she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
