I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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