but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
