I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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