Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
worst night to have a conscience
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
