where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
