He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
