he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
