Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
