i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
