took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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