i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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