but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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