I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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