There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
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I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad