Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM

(616): View more from Michigan

Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?

(401): View more from Rhode Island

wait... oh

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(401): dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM (616): Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek? (401): wait... oh http://tfl.nu/kgtx

Replies (9) Good night (3490) Bad night (978)
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(360): View more from Washington

he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them

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(360): he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them http://tfl.nu/8aam

Replies (40) Good night (16964) Bad night (2453)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.

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(732): I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final. http://tfl.nu/j44u

Replies (9) Good night (5581) Bad night (1152)
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(216): View more from Ohio

somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.

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(216): somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen. http://tfl.nu/y8ck

Replies (17) Good night (9202) Bad night (1195)
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(818): View more from California

remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

(702): View more from Nevada

Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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(818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx

Replies (116) Good night (6691) Bad night (12435)
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(516): View more from New York

It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.

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(516): It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night. http://tfl.nu/9z84

Replies (6) Good night (2780) Bad night (723)
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(229): View more from Georgia

He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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(229): He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam. http://tfl.nu/61az

Replies (1) Good night (1039) Bad night (1687)
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(239): View more from Florida

He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.

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(239): He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish. http://tfl.nu/b945

Replies (33) Good night (1161) Bad night (1990)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude

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(318): You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude http://tfl.nu/d0gl

Replies (10) Good night (1880) Bad night (648)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...

(1-937): View more from Ohio

I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.

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(937): I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke... (1-937): I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment. http://tfl.nu/31kk

Replies (3) Good night (427) Bad night (620)
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(252): View more from North Carolina

Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again

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(252): Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again http://tfl.nu/a8pw

Replies (3) Good night (415) Bad night (835)
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(602): View more from Arizona

I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.

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(602): I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared. http://tfl.nu/46e7

Replies (4) Good night (516) Bad night (784)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Like the friend zone has no room for winks

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(860): Like the friend zone has no room for winks http://tfl.nu/ugcr

Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (283)
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(847): View more from Illinois

sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?

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(847): sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you? http://tfl.nu/2uuz

Replies (0) Good night (483) Bad night (305)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"

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(402): Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!" http://tfl.nu/nmzl

Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (192)

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