I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.