So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
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Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
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I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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