you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
