positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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