mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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