Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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