On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
