I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
