When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
