I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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