made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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