I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
