Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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