i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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