Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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