So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
