how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
