It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
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I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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