he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
