Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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