Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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