Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
