my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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