Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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