Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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