Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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