You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
