Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
