Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
