OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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